Addiction Medicine Specialist Questions heroin addiction

How can I help my son with his recovery?

My son was a heroin addict and just came back from rehab to continue his recovery. He's going to the meetings and everything seems to be going okay. Is there anything that I can do to further help his recovery?

2 Answers

Unfortunately, this journey is your son's to take. All you can do is support him. The best way I can explain it is this: Picture you and your son in a car. Your son is driving while you are in the passenger seat. You can point the direction you want him to go, but, ultimately, he will drive where he wants. He determines the speed, the direction, and the final destination. He has to take responsibility for his recovery or it won't work. Part of long-term recovery is for him to learn how to be responsible for his own life so he can make better decisions in the future. Help him get to meetings if needs a ride every once in awhile. Take him to counseling on occasion if he's having a problem getting there. If he relapses, go pick him up and help him get back on his feet.

I know you're anxious and scared and want more than anything for your son to recover, but you can't let it take over your life. My heart always bleeds for the parents, but the thing is this: you wanting his recovery doesn't make a difference in the outcome. He has to want it. He has to do the work. He has to bear the consequences. You can help a bit, but if you do more of the work on his recovery than he does, he won't make it. I know this is hard to hear. I've been where you are. I would suggest you enter Al Anon, Narc Anon, or counseling to help you with all the emotions you are feeling. It helps. Trust me.
Good luck!
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