“My daughter is going through a divorce. Should she get psychiatric counselling?”
My daughter who is just 26 years old is going through a divorce after a traumatic marriage which lasted only about a year. I know I can't force counselling on her, but their relationship was mentally abusive and she just hasn't been herself. What can I do to help her?
11 Answers
Talk to her about starting therapy, be supportive, make an appointment with a psychiatrist if she is depressed.
She needs to see a mental health worker.
Let her know that you understand that people often want to avoid thinking about traumatic events, but it grows in causing problems when avoidance occurs when not addressed. There are a number of good psychotherapies for trauma. ACT therapy, EMDR, Internal Family systems...
A divorce is usually a traumatic experience. I would advise that a person going through that experience seek some counseling. Some people get depressed during or after a divorce. Then psychiatric help is needed. Just "going through a divorce" is not enough information.
Your daughter's situation is clearly very complex, but it sounds like she is clear that she wants to get free from this abuse, which is a sign of health. You are correct that you cannot force her to go for therapy. You can acknowledge her pain and struggles as well as her efforts to get away from this abusive relationship. Empathize with her as to how hard all of this must be for her, and let her know that you may not be able to be as helpful as a therpaist would likely be able to be. Of course, I do not know the nature of the realtionship between you and your daughter, but based on what you have indicated, this is what I would recommend. Best to you, you sound very concerned about her, and it is probably hard to see her go through all of this. Do keep in mind, that she is making healthy strides by getting away from the abusiveness.
Hi, it’s Dr. Gold. Sounds like a good idea to suggest a psychotherapy evaluation to your daughter. She sounds like she has been through a traumatic experience and a psychiatric evaluation/ and/or psychotherapy could be helpful to her if she is open to it. Hope this is helpful.
You are a Caring Mother.
I understand your concern about her.
Have a Heart to Heart talk with your daughter and tell her that you want to:
•Understand her feelings, needs and stresses in her life
•Share your concern about her sadness, hurt and angry feelings while in marriage.
•Support her to release her feelings and show your understanding.
•Share your concern of what she went through her traumatic marriage; and explain that “She has not been herself”
•Encourage her to have Counseling to resolve painful feelings.
I understand your concern about her.
Have a Heart to Heart talk with your daughter and tell her that you want to:
•Understand her feelings, needs and stresses in her life
•Share your concern about her sadness, hurt and angry feelings while in marriage.
•Support her to release her feelings and show your understanding.
•Share your concern of what she went through her traumatic marriage; and explain that “She has not been herself”
•Encourage her to have Counseling to resolve painful feelings.
While family support helps, it can be helpful to seek counseling that can help her come out of the past trauma.
Divorce is indeed quite a traumatic event particularly if the marriage has also been traumatic and counseling is recommended to avoid developing depression or other mental health problems.
Jan Fawcett
Psychiatrist
YOU ARE CORRECT - YOU CAN'T FORCE COUNSELING ON A PERSON. It sounds like a good idea give the history you provided. There is a type ion interviewing that asks a person whether not doing any therapy leads to symptoms - trying to force a person into therapy has the opposite result and almost guarantees a poor result.
Yes, I agree with you and would encourage her to seek counseling to address the impact of this traumatic relationship and abrupt ending of her relationship. It is better to seek help now to prevent subsequent issues such as depression or anxiety.
