Dr. Janice R. Levine, PH.D.

Not only does it make sense, but it's the right thing to do. No one teaches you how to be married and how to be a healthy couple in a healthy relationship. We all do what we know, in good faith. But there's so much more to learn! If you ignore these issues, or don't resolve them in a healthy way, they fester and grow into intractable problems later on. Please see someone while you are still young and flexible, and while you have the motivation to learn and change. It's insurance for a lifetime.

Yes - you do need to be evaluated by a Psychologist or mental health professional, and perhaps a Psychiatrist for medication. Lack of motivation and 'anhedonia' (inability to experience joy), as well as excessive sleeping and isolation are all clear signs of depression. Life need not be that unhappy for you! The good news is that that medication and psychotherapy should definitely be helpful.

Good luck.

Things can get unexpectedly messy during a divorce. If you mediate, you may not need counseling, too. If not and if there are kids, I’d recommend counseling to negotiate your wishes amicably before getting lawyers involved.

Yes, it is most certainly possible to develop or evidence ADHD as an adult. Often, the symptoms are masked in childhood but they can just as easily first appear in adulthood. A differential diagnosis would be helpful, as there are other conditions (anxiety, mania) that can look like ADHD, but not actually be attention deficit. And of course, the "H" (hyperactivity) may or my not be present. Psychological testing is the most reliable way to make an accurate diagnosis.

Mindfulness meditation is the best way I know of to overcome intrusive thoughts. It's a practice that teaches you to witness the nature and content of your thoughts, and gently return your focus to your breath and the present moment. It doesn't stop negative thoughts from coming, and nothing can, but it gives you facility in recognizing them sooner and having the mental agility to reroute negative thoughts to the here and now. Negative thoughts live in the past or the future; the present is nearly always safe. We either regret (looking backward) or fear (looking forward), neither of which we can control at the present moment. Negative thoughts in the form of self-loathing are best helped by CBT or CBT, in conjunction with mindfulness meditation.
Good luck!

Absolutely! It's a wonderful option that should be first string for everyone. Our bodies hold and convey our feelings to us, and if we can learn to listen to our bodies' sensory feedback and regulate our internal response, it changes our experience of things. It can make us go from agitated to calm, and when our bodies feel calm, we don't experience being stressed the same way. This is how we become in charge of our emotional experiences. Stress isn't a "thing" that exists independent of our response to it. Though there are commonly perceived pressures and stressful events, our interpretation of what is or isn't stressful is what lands in our bodies. Prior to feeling stressed and having to manage it, we can also learn how to interpret events differently, such that they don't affect us in the same way. For example, the more we feel in control of our internal experiences, the more we are able not to feel helplessly victimized by them, i.e., we can choose how to respond, and we can regulate our reactions. Learning to be sensitive to our own heart rate, racing thoughts, sweat, shakiness, etc., is important data that enables us to face stressful events with a sense of mastery. Too much stress can shorten the lifespan - biofeedback can literally extend your life!

It is very common for people to become more anxious as they get older. Personal safety and security become prime motivators in life; new and increasing ailments remind a person that they are vulnerable. Older people typically become more cautious and risk-averse with age. That said, it should not get in the way of performing normal activities nor should it occupy as much worry and concern as you describe. While not necessarily abnormal, anti-anxiety medication could be helpful to take the edge off and has little if any side effects. Check with the doctor to evaluate its appropriateness.

You may not be able to stop your mind from thinking, but it is possible to learn how to divert and relax your racing thoughts. The best technique comes from learning mindfulness meditation, where the practice involves witnessing the act of having a thought, and then returning to a focus on your breath. Your mind will naturally start thinking again, and each time you notice this you gently return to your breath. This practice offers a way to manage ones own thought process and return to the present moment, so you don't get lost in run-away thoughts. Calming the mind can also help you relax.

It depends on the severity and frequency of these negative phases. Are these periods sustained and frequent, or episodic and rare? If it happens continuously or is increasing in frequency it might suggest depression. If your negative thoughts increase in intensity, become scary, paranoid or suicidal, it is also problematic. But if you get in periodic funks that abate and don't go too deep I wouldn't be concerned. Track these patterns and if you find you can't willfully turn your thoughts around, or they happen more frequently or intensely, you are probably depressed and should see a therapist.