I’m on the naMENDa: We Deserve to Heal
Dr. Sonja M. Ramirez is a licensed clinical psychologist in New York and New Jersey. She has a mobile office under the business name Ramirez Behavioral Healthcare, LLC. Dr. Ramirez also works as a Contract Psychologist for both acute and sub-acute rehabilitation centers. Dr. Ramirez engages in sessions in client's homes,... more
Initially, it was a tough pill to swallow - literally and figuratively. I was embarrassed and sad because I filled my head with self-judgement and helpless, cynical thoughts. It took words of strength, faith and hope from my father (my greatest fan and a beautiful soul who crawled out of the black hole about 13 years ago), and, a few weeks for the medication to kick in for me to feel and realize the slightest changes in my cognitive functioning.
I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and in due time. However, we don’t own time. We must surrender, and release our need to control and desire instant gratification, to the process of healing and it’s unfolding.
Research has proven time and time again that things will change without any intervention, simply due to the passage of time. This is why when we perform experimental studies, we have to prove that our findings are statistically significant and not simply due to the tendency for change to occur without any intervention. We have to provide the data that shows that our results are statistically significant and correlated with the treatment and not due to chance.
Healing requires time for rest, support, assistance, possibly medical interventions, our belief that we will get better, or we can cope and adapt, time and patience. Healing is work within our busy lives that must be prioritized.
If we don’t take care of ourselves, eventually, taking care of others becomes a stressor and wears us down. I’ve been learning this lesson for the past 20 years. If you’re always in charge and always OK, then others can’t see it when you’re falling down and need to be picked up, until it’s too late. Loving and caring for each other is a two-way street. It starts with loving and caring for ourselves and letting others in or letting them go.
