Ocean Breakers as Reminders/Guides
Dr. Sonja M. Ramirez is a licensed clinical psychologist in New York and New Jersey. She has a mobile office under the business name Ramirez Behavioral Healthcare, LLC. Dr. Ramirez also works as a Contract Psychologist for both acute and sub-acute rehabilitation centers. Dr. Ramirez engages in sessions in client's homes,... more
Chaos proceeds change. This statement has been made by many people in various forms. The message is the same. Repeating the same thoughts and behaviors will lead to the same poor mood and problems. We can choose to take the time to identify the thoughts and behaviors that are maladaptive and reinforcing our stress, frustration, anger, worry, sadness, etc., or we can get the rug pulled from under our feet unexpectedly and be forced to reorganize, adapt and return to daily life with a fresh, adaptive perspective.
The ocean is a great example of this. It’s sometimes calm with low tides, or turbulent with waves that crash and break, temporarily, then, reconfigure naturally.
When there is a gradual slope in the ocean floor, a wave steepens until the crest becomes unstable. This results in turbulent whitewater spewing and spilling down the face of the wave as it progresses the wave toward the shore. Then, the wave's energy slowly dissipates back into the whitewater. The wave goes back to calm water, it’s self and center, somewhat changed but whole again, after the break up of it’s normal pattern of flow.
Waves are not always linear. Pressure and friction disturb the equilibrium of the surface water. The energy shifts. Waves are created and they amplify a critical process during which something starts to stir and there is kinetic energy. There is change, calm or chaotic. The prior dynamic of that wave is no longer valid in the moment and it immediately alters it’s future movement and shifts.
We can do this with our thoughts. We can choose to repeat the same dysfunctional automatic negative thoughts or we can create more realistic, adaptive thoughts and alter our behaviors and find a new balance and way of being.
Sometimes, our lives can be unstable and turbulent. Whether we go with the flow and readjust in an effort to move forward in a new way, or, we resist what may feel unfamiliar and chaotic and remain stuck in a rut, is a choice. We can’t change other people or environmental events but we can choose to change how we think about them, approach them or adapt to them or create a new way of being that is in line with our general sense of self, a positive mood and adaptive behaviors and thoughts about moving forward in our lives.
Choose to find the lessons in life’s ebbs and flows, waves and breakers, unpredictable or chaotic events and times of peace. Stagnant water breeds mosquitoes. Stagnant thoughts and behaviors breed ANTs, automatic negative thoughts. Stagnant thoughts and repetitive dysfunctional behaviors breed negative moods. Allow the wave to crash over so you can re-evaluate, change your view of the matter and re-center with a new perspective. Seek out the people, resources or opportunities that will coalesce and support you through the process and incorporate yourself into a new supportive whole. The next gradual slope and breaking wave of progress will be easier to manage and change and recentering. This will become a great habit.
In the same way that the ocean experiences different kinds of waves and breakers, some environmental and others created by an internal natural process, we face experiences beyond our control but choose how to react. Create good habits. Remember, it’s a progress. Be patient with yourself and remind yourself that practice makes progress.
