Marian Kaplun Shapiro

Not that I know of, although meds may affect dreaming. And of course you are thinking about your situation intensely. Unless the dreams are nightmarish and interfering with sleep, just think of them as messages in code to discuss with your therapist.

Peace,

Marian

It’s wonderful that you know instinctively that you need help. Of course, it is great that you have friends and that you feel comfortable talking with them. But professional help is also important - if you had a broken arm, wouldn’t you go to a professional to treat it, and also take comfort and assistance from friends? A good referral person (which might be a friend!) such as a medical person, referral agency, website, professional association can give you a head start. You are looking for a psychologist, social worker, psychiatric nurse, or psychiatrist.
Good luck!

Peace,

Marian

Most likely there is a less obvious trigger – an "anniversary" date, a memory, a movie, etc. I recommend you see a therapist who specializes in hypnosis, a member of the American Society of Clinical Hypnosis or the Society of Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis. Many of them (psychologists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurses, social workers…) work regularly with phobias and may be able to help you quickly. Quickly is the point, before the symptom affects more and more of your life.

Peace,

Marian K. Shapiro, Ed.D.

Yes, please do! A good hypnosis specialist – who can be a psychologist, nurse practitioner, psychiatrist, pediatrician….can really help with this horrible experience. Usually can resolve in just a few sessions. Quick – go to the American Society of Clinical Hypnosis (ASCH) and choose a specialist in pediatric hypnosis, especially one who works with night terrors and/or reactions after surgery. Your son will feel better so quickly and he will learn the value of getting the treatment he needs when he needs it.

Peace,

Marian Shapiro

First – good for you, having the courage to write about this very important, but sometimes embarrassing topic which, by the way, affects so many people of both genders! You don’t say how old you are, but at any age, a sensible first step would be to visit your primary care doc. The doctor may note some medication you are taking that has the side effect of reducing arousal. The doctor, in taking blood tests and other tests (hormones, etc.) may alight on some simply corrected deficiency. In addition, assuming you are a man, you may be referred to a urologist; if a woman, to a gynecologist. You will, by this important step, find a physical cause or, absent that, be assured that the cause lies elsewhere.

If elsewhere, the next step would be to consult a specialist in mental health: psychologist, social worker, counselor, psychiatrist. Perhaps you have some underlying depression. Perhaps you have some issues with your wife that have not been resolved and are getting in your way. Perhaps there is some sexual conflict from your past. Perhaps your wife will go with you to some session(s) to help set you both on a better path.

At any rate, I wish you success – sex is such a great, fun, even free pleasure in life, and wouldn’t it be great to have it part of yours again!

Peace,

Dr. Marian K. Shapiro

You are a concerned and alert mother – he would best be seen by a person specializing in testing, to evaluate if he has a form of Attention Deficit Disorder. If so, special approaches to learning will help him to succeed where, without such, he might flounder. If there is a guidance counselor at his school, she or he will be able to refer you to a qualified person, usually a psychologist or psychometrist.

Peace,

Marian K. Shapiro, Ed.D.

What a kind parent you must be. Just be a listener. Nod a lot. If there are no children involved, comment only that the process of separating is always painful, pain lessens with time. Many, many people go through this period, and he will come out the other end. If he doesn’t seem to be moving through it, suggest a group for people going through similar situations.

Peace,

Marian Shapiro

Assuming you live in an area that is bright and sunny in summer, it’s not Seasonal Affective Disorder. Perhaps an "anniversary reaction" of remembrances of bad/sad times over summers long ago? Think about that possibility - therapy can really help with that.

Peace,

Marian Shapiro

Likely yes. Hypnosis is a fine method for reducing and managing pain, whether physical or psychogenic. You can find a specialist in this sub-area in your part of the country at the website of the American Society of Clinical Hypnosis (ASCH).

Pain can ruin a life - so glad she has you to help her take care of it.

Absolutely! Therapists teach meditation, relaxation methods such as Jacobsonian relaxation, and hypnosis (my specialty). Many will make personalized recordings for you; like shoes, a good fit is important.

Yes - perhaps individual, perhaps group therapy. She may be depressed - is that possible?

You don’t say how old your son is. Perhaps he would benefit from a child therapist - social worker or psychologist. It is good that you are thinking of his needs when you surely are having your own!

Good question, 2-part answer:

1. She should have her doctors or a psychiatrist review all her meds. Some have depression as a side effect. What is called poly pharmacy is the combination of drugs which, when added to each other, cause psychological side effects;

2. She should see a therapist for individual consultation. All long-term illnesses lead to depression - loss of enjoyment, socialization, movement, etc. Perhaps individual, perhaps group therapy might be recommended.

She is lucky to have such a caring and intelligent daughter.

Your nightmares are telling you that you have signs of PTSD; please do see a specialist in that aspect of mental health treatment. Once the traumas are worked through, the nightmares will diminish.

Jealousy is normal up to a point, but this situation seems beyond that point (“violent”). Either the situation requires family counseling (you, a partner if you have one, and both girls, or one and/or the other daughter needs a therapist). Why not go to see a consultant in family therapy and get a recommendation? Meanwhile, do try to prevent violence. Violent behavior hurts the violent person as well as the victim.

Peace,

Marian Kaplun Shapiro

These feelings have been baked in for a long time. It would be good if you could trace their origins and be able to assign them to the people who likely taught them to you, in order not to hear them as your own opinions. Therapy - individual and/or group - would be the way to go. My choice would be for a psychodynamically-oriented professional - Psychologist, social worker, or counselor. Most psychiatrists tend to go the medication route. But some are also psychodynamic practitioners.

Why lead your one life in negativity! Good for you for confronting this attitude and trying a new road.





Peace,
Marian Shapiro
Licensed Psychologist

What a kind man you are. Yes, indeed. Do remind her that this is an all-too-common but temporary condition caused by dramatic changes in her body as well as life changes a baby brings. Perhaps there is a group of new mothers in your area. She might ask her therapist. It is consoling to be with others who understand from their OWN experience, which you can’t share.

Peace,

Marian Shapiro

Yes, it used to be called hypochondria. It is sometimes called Illness Anxiety Disorder. You will find a helpful description and discussion on the Mayo Clinic website. This disorder is treatable, IF the person wants to be treated!

Peace,

Marian K. Shapiro

Seven years! You must have gotten a lot of advice during that time (take this pill, see this guru, exercise, drink this, eat that….). There are so many solutions to anxiety and, like clothes, no one size fits all. I suggest you go to see a psychologist (or social worker) trained in clinical hypnosis with experience treating anxiety. So that you are assured of getting a reputable person (because hypnosis is an area in which non-clinical people practice without the need for licenses in most states), go to the website of the American Society of Clinical Hypnosis (of which I am a member) to find an appropriate practitioner in your geographic area. If you live in an area without any big cities, you may have to go a distance, but it is worth it! After you learn the skills, you practice it on your own, and can continue with some other therapist closer by if that is recommended.
Good luck!

Peace,

Marian

OCD is an official diagnostic name – Obsessive Compulsive Disorder –listed in the DSM V. It is not just a "habit." There are many kinds of treatment and which would be most appropriate for your sister is not something as simple as we would hope. Perhaps there is a large university-affiliated hospital where she lives which has a department of psychology and/or psychiatry who could meet with her and recommend a therapist, or program that would be appropriate for her. It is a terrible limitation on life for the person and for those who live with her; I hope she gets the help she needs. If there is no fine hospital in your area, perhaps a referral service that lists specialists in this area could be another option.

Peace,

(Dr.) Marian K. Shapiro, Licensed Psychologist