5 Category System for the Effective Use of Coping Skills

Ever-present among all in society, coping skills are necessary for daily life. From school-yard children, CEOs, and prison inmates alike, coping skills are a lifelong development. Coping skill competence is a fundamental part of personal mental health, interpersonal interactions, and substance-use modification. While coping skills can seem an unfamiliar and overwhelming task to master and apply to everyday life, they are much more a part of common knowledge than many realize. They are so common, in fact, that most of us don’t realize that we are subconsciously using them all the time. When we are in the moment and aware that we are in need of one, we can’t or don’t apply one because of our own misunderstanding of what coping skills are. To help my clients overcome this dilemma, I have created a 5-Category System to help individuals easily identify, choose, and apply coping skills to any situation and lead to a more successful and peaceful life.

In order to achieve coping skill competence, we must first understand what a coping skill is. A coping skill is any action or decision other than using a substance as a solution or engaging in behavior that will ultimately result in legal or personal trouble. Any time that an individual engages in a behavior that they don’t necessarily want to do but would be imperative for their own success, such as going to work or compromising, or hold back from engaging in a behavior that would be detrimental, such as physically assaulting someone or saying something rude, the individual is using a coping skill. This then leads us to question, why do we use coping skills in some situations but not others? How do we choose which coping mechanism to apply? Is the skill we’re using the most effective?

The most difficult part of understanding and mastering coping skills is being able to identify which coping skill would be most effective in the moment. The first step in overcoming this issue is to train the brain to identify times when we are already using coping skills as second nature. Think of a time where you handled a problematic situation well. What did I do? What was I thinking? The second step is to identify times when a coping skill is necessary. Are there times that I could handle a situation better? Am I getting into the same problematic patterns when a particular situation arises? The final step is utilizing them at times when we are not. Thinking to yourself “I don’t want to get fired”, finding an excuse to leave, turning on music, calling a friend, and exercising are all coping skills.  Each of these examples can be drawn from the 5-category system that I have created to help individuals easily identify, choose, and apply coping skills to their own life. They can be as complex as writing music or as simple as clipping your nails. Though the 5-category system I created was initially developed for and implemented into drug and alcohol treatment programs, I have subsequently used these same principles to help individuals facing a variety of circumstances, including depression, personality disorders, learning disabilities, or the overwhelmed parent. The purpose of the 5-category system is to make it easier to come up with coping mechanisms on the spot and also determine the most appropriate and effective mechanism for that moment. Since every situation is different, it is imperative that we have a wide variety of coping skills in our “toolbox”.

Coping skill success can be determined or limited by immediate access, physical ability, and/or time. But by using the 5-category system it makes it easier to think of many different kinds of coping skills to accommodate various situations. Often times, when I ask my clients to list their current or preferred coping skills, they will list several from the same category. While any coping knowledge is advantageous, it is important to have skills from different categories that can be applied to different situations. Given the immensely diverse options for coping skills some overlap between categories exists.

The 5-category system is as follows: Escape, Distract, Productive, Cognitive, and Support. These diverse categories are crucial to achieving coping skill competency and provide endless options for coping skills. The definitions of each category are:

• Escape: Physically leaving a given situation, either temporarily or permanently.
• Distract: Taking one’s mind off of the issue, getting out of your head.
• Productive: Finishing or beginning an activity, getting something done.
• Cognitive: Changing how you think, your mindset, or what you can do with your mind.
• Support: Interaction with another that can provide comfort, companionship, or help.

Examples of “Escape” could be going to the bathroom for a quick 5 minute break or making up an excuse to leave the predicament entirely. “Distractions” could be watching TV, shopping, or enjoying the outdoors. Music, though often thought of as a great outlet or distraction, is often a major perpetrator of negative feelings (i.e. anger or sadness), depending on the type of music. When this coping skill is used incorrectly, it can be extremely detrimental or dangerous and may actually make matters worse. Although, with the right person at the right time, and the right music, this may be a positive coping skill. “Productive” activities include, but are not limited to, working, building something, and cooking. I have found productive activities to be particularly useful for those experiencing depression or anxiety because getting something checked off a list and/or seeing one’s efforts materialized makes people feel accomplished and good about themselves. “Cognitive” skills are thoughts that include thinking of consequences, thinking of loved ones, counting, positive affirmations, etc. Cognitive skills are particularly useful because they can be done anywhere and at anytime, but can be tricky because often the battleground is in our own mind. For this reason, the cognitive category could be considered more advanced but once mastered, these are the most powerful.  “Support” is another person or animal that can provide comfort, companionship, or help. Spirituality and religion can also be listed under this category as could support groups. Recently, I have begun to include plants in this category, as some people enjoy talking to their plants. In the right situation, this could be very useful. However, since plants don’t reciprocate interaction, it is not usually recommended as an option.

Using the 5-category system makes it easy to brainstorm long lists of different coping skills that can be applied to any situation, and incorporates the interests and abilities of each individual. The process of selecting go-to coping mechanisms is an evolving system of trial and error and can change over time. Practicing these before getting into a situation where they need to be used is nearly as critical in their effectiveness. Any skill is developed and fine-tuned over time, and everyone will have their own variation of coping skills that they will need to practice before they master them. Professional athletes practice year round so that when the game comes around, they are prepared for the event. Even then, they aren’t always 100% successful in their performance. The same is true with coping skills. If they aren’t practiced regularly, they wont be effectively utilized when they are needed.

Effective coping skills could save your life, save your relationship, or keep you out of jail. While they are a serious and important topic, they can be fun and effortless when they are understood and applied correctly.  Using the 5-Category System of coping skills can ensure that your “toolbox” will be sharp, polished, and useful when you need it most. 

Colin David Runge, LPC, LAC

Colorado