An Accredited Member of the Australian Traditional Medicine Society, Julie Graduated with distinctions from S.A. College of Botanic Medicine and Natural Therapies Pty Ltd. Professional Qualifications include: Naturopathic Doctor, Herbal & Homoeopathic Practitioner: Diet and Nutritional Medicine: Remedial & Therapeutic... more
Are you finding it difficult to give yourself consent to be true to yourself? Finding it difficult to allow your life to move in the direction that you want it to go?
Do you seem to come to what seems like a brick wall when attempting to implement the things you want and how you want to be in your life?
I want to help you here by sharing some of the things that may be blocking you and to give you simple solutions to move past the difficulties that you are finding to give yourself consent or permission to be the person you want to be, do the things you want to do, and experience life as you want to experience it. What is it that is preventing or blocking you from a happy, healthy, abundant and nourishing life? Is it something as simple as giving yourself the consent or permission to follow your dreams and be who you truly want to be?
Where this becomes difficult is that we live in a society where from birth we are programmed to ask for consent for the things we want to do. An example is that you would have asked your parents if you could have a snack when you were hungry between meals. You could have asked for your parents’ consent to play a particular sport or go to a friend’s house. These being fairly normal.
However, it could have been something worse; you may have been told to do something that you truly didn’t want to do, like play with a certain friend that was constantly mean to you or play a game or sport that you didn’t want to play.
As you grew older it may have been the need to ask for consent to use you own money to purchase something for yourself. It could have been to ask the teacher in class to go to the toilet. You may have been prevented from going because the teacher wanted you to finish a task.
Looking upon some of these consent or agreements that have been put into place, they can be quite archaic. Now, don’t get me wrong; it is important at times to let people know what we are doing, especially when other people and situations are involved, but not as a consent or as form of permission.
Let’s face it: Whether adult or child, if you need to go to the toilet, you need to go and you are going. “Just letting you know”.
Not long ago, I woke up a particular morning with the wind taken right out of me, depleted and sick. Clearly this was time for me to give myself consent to have a day of rest. This I did. There were no questions. I just stated to my family that I was unwell and wouldn’t be doing anything that day.
Giving yourself consent on a regular basis
Most of people are unaware that allowing themselves to continue with society's expectations of asking for consent may have grave effects upon self-worth. So it is not uncommon going into adult life, if, throughout the stages of growing up, you haven’t been given the opportunity to gradually begin to make decisions for yourself. You haven't been giving yourself consent to follow what you want to do (that is not going to harm you or someone else). This patterning of always looking for consent or permission from an authoritative figure will then appear within your marriage, your work, and other relationships.
Some examples of this is that you may refrain from buying yourself a new item of clothing for fear of disapproval from your spouse, peer group, or other. It could be in the workplace where you are in the middle of a project or finishing something for your boss and you need to have a day off either because you are unwell or there is a family member whom you need to care for.
The biggest problem that seems to occur, especially with women, is a feeling of guilt after giving birth and the need to rest. There is the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, and caring for the new born. All a little overwhelming where you definitely need to give yourself consent to rest and gradually work back into these roles sharing the responsibility.
The only way you are going to be happy, providing a stable and healthy base for your life, including those of your family, is in giving yourself consent to do things that you love. You are passionate and feel this will help you in fulfilling your purpose of who you are meant and want to be.
Make this shift instead of asking consent or permission from others. Give yourself the consent and permission to follow your dreams, your life’s purpose.
I remember telling my husband that I would never do anything that was harmful to myself, him or the family, but that I had to be me! I give myself consent and permission to make my mistakes, enjoy my successes, and follow my dreams.
This shift is empowering, allowing you to have hope, joy, and peace that you are following your life’s path.
Steps to giving yourself consent and permission to be you
Making the decision to allow yourself to be your own consent master is a process, beginning with small, incremental acknowledgements, starting just simply with when you are tired or sick or just need a rest. Allow yourself to rest and take some time out.
As you begin to put into place these processes of consent, acknowledge the fact that it is all OK.
Here is the Full article for you that will help solve your roadblocks in "Giving Yourself Consent - To Truly Live your Life"
Empowering You to Optimal Health - Julie Doherty
Naturopath, Health and Life Coach