Lynn Pollock, Licensed Mental Health Counselor

This is always so complicated and I'm so sorry you have been hurt. Infidelity can be damaging, but not insurmountable with the right help. I would find a good couples' counselor who is familiar with the Emotionally Focused Therapy model. They work relationally and work with the feelings that make us vulnerable that may or may not have led to both the infidelity, but also to the difficulties in forgiving. I don't think "forgetting" is the answer, but rather finding the way back to connection, which a professional can help you do if it is hard to do on your own.

I’m so sorry for your loss. It can be extremely challenging when you lose someone you love and who has been there for you for so long. Grief is not a linear process. You will have ups and downs. If it is affecting your functioning and you are feeling very low, it can help to have a professional counselor to support you as you process through these strong emotions. It also helps to not feel so alone and can alleviate some of your depression. It might be good to find an Expressive therapist who uses creative methods to work through your feelings. I am attaching an article for you to check out about how art can aid in the healing of grief:

https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/how-art-heals-grief-0327125/

It is common behavior for a 5 year old to challenge her parents and assert her control. She is developing her independence and needs encouragement to make good choices. Often parents try to assert control by telling children what they don't want and get the opposition that you describe. She is likely getting attention, albeit negative attention, for her behavior, which is reinforcing the exact behavior you do not want. It will be helpful to frame your statements to say what you do want, not what you don't want, and reward her for following instructions or making a good choice. If she continues to exhibit the opposite behavior from what you are looking for, let her know that you know she can make a good choice, don't overreact (as that may be the reinforcement she desires) and stay as neutral as possible while stating the positive expectation. Also, whenever possible, give her a choice. For example, "you can clean up your toys now or in 5 minutes" or "do you want to play x or y" while staying away from saying "don't play with that" or "don't do that". By giving her choices, both of which you can live with, she will feel she has more control and make more positive choices. Then be sure to praise her for making the good choice. Children need praise and encouragement, not scolding and punishment. Hope this helps.

You are right to question this sudden change in behavior. It may be that he is simply a brooding adolescent, but there could be something more troublesome going on. You cannot force him to talk or engage, but provide him with encouragement to talk about what is on his mind. Believe it or not, taking a ride with him in the car is a great place to try to get him talking. The time alone with you as well as him not feeling pressured or forced to make eye contact can bring out his voice. Don't try to cajole him into talking if he refuses as this may push him away, but keep an eye on his activities, allowing him to express himself as he is comfortable and ensuring he is safe even if he is not willing to share what might be going on. Just let him know you are always there for him without hovering. If you notice behaviors that make you uncomfortable or feel that he is unsafe, you should seek support from a school or private counselor to rule out more significant concerns.

It is wise of you to be cautious when you feel uncomfortable with someone. You need to trust your gut and if you can, let him know that you are not comfortable with what he is doing. Also, as a mother of 3 myself, I know that I would want to know if someone was making my daughter feel this way. I don't know your family, but you don't know how they will react until you try. If you continue to feel uncomfortable and do not feel ready to talk to your parents or let him know how you feel, maybe there is a counselor at school you can talk to. Take care of yourself and listen to your felt sense.

Certainly having multiple health problems can be draining and be depressing. Is your mother willing to seek counseling? A counselor can help her manage the psychological toll your mother's physical health is having on her and you are doing a great job encouraging her to seek help. If she is unwilling, it might help you to speak to a counselor to learn how to support your mother through what sounds like big challenges.

Couples therapists often work with non-married couples. It is recommended if you are in a committed relationship and want to improve your relationship or move into a deeper commitment. This is especially true if you are thinking about taking the step into marriage and want to resolve some disharmonious aspects of your relationship before taking that plunge.