"There's a man and woman in this marriage, it's not just the kids" .

“I wouldn’t have turned to someone else if my wife made me feel like she cared just a little. It’s always about the kids. I love my children but there’s a man and woman in this marriage - not just a mother and her kids.”  -Karl, Age 30

It’s said that if a person is cheating, it’s because there are fundamental issues in the relationship.  In fact, when cheaters get caught they will often try to pin it on their partner. Their attempts to transfer blame onto you (i.e. "I wouldn't have had to have sex with her if you would spend more time alone with me”) is just a deflection. Although issues within the relationship may have existed, the cheater had other options. He did not have to get intimate with a 3rd party. As the partner who was cheated on, don’t allow yourself to take on that burden.