"Took me 12 years to realise men could be raped at all and 15 to begin thinking about my experiences."
Will* dated the same girl for three years, and it was his first serious relationship. He was the first out of his friends to be in a relationship, and this was also one of the reasons why he stayed in it for so long. But soon, he realized that she was manipulative, emotionally abusive, and physically violent.
At the time, he didn’t see it at all. He didn’t have enough experience to know what a healthy relationship looked like, and it took him a year to realize that the relationship wasn’t good. It took him even more to realize that many of the times when they had sex that it could be considered as rape. There were times where he told her to stop, where she threatened him, and even where he was tied up without consent.
He noticed that she was not very interested in it at all, and that it was all about control. It took him 12 years to understand that men that could be raped as well, and 15 years to see how unhealthy his relationship was. Since then, he’s gone to therapy and had only okay results. Sometimes he feels that he should have never talked about his experience, and other times, he feels that talking about it is healthy.