Intimacy is a very important component of any healthy relationship, so a sudden change in its frequency can be a hint to you that your partner is being less than faithful. And it doesn’t have to be a drop, either; increased attentiveness is a potential sign of cheating, too.

Both becoming physically distant and overly attentive in the bedroom are often the result of a guilty conscience on the part of the cheater due to their infidelity.

Karina Wallace, a relationship and betrayal trauma-focused life coach, says this behavior speaks to the regret your partner is feeling, even though they have no intention of stopping the affair. In fact, she says, if they are more attentive, they will likely become less so once they’ve adjusted to their double life.

So, whether they’re pushing you away or pulling you closer, any alteration in your level of intimacy is a cause for note. While not a sure sign of cheating, it’s definitely something to keep an eye on, especially if you’re already suspicious in the first place.