Councelor/Therapist Questions Marriage Counseling

How successful is marriage counseling?

My husband and I have been at each other's throats, and at times, I just want to call it quits. But I love him, and I still want to try and make it work. The reason why we argue is usually because of money, and I don't think something that superficial should put an end to our marriage. I'm ready to suggest marriage counseling, but I'm not sure about how well it works. What is the success rate?

9 Answers

Hello,
It's such a good idea to seek marriage counseling if both parties are willing to attend. If one party is going just to please the other the outcome isn't likely to be successful. Marriage counseling can be a best friend to your marriage as long as both spouses believe it's the way to go in order to heal the relationship and grow from there.
Finding the root of the problem is key to resolving conflict. Both parties need to see their part in the problem. If there is a willingness of the partners to resolve issues therapy can be successful.
Dear client,

Communication is the key to any relationship, especially marriage. It is work every day and is never easy. The success rate depends on how willing both parties are to participate and change.

Sara Cole, MS, LPC, CAC III, NCC
Success rates vary so it's difficult to say. What I can tell you is that if you and your husband are both committed to making the marriage work, a good marriage therapist is likely going to be able to help you.
Arguing about money is the #1 issue in most marriages. As far as success rates go in marriage counseling, they are as successful as you truly want them to be. If money is really the issue, why not address that issue directly? Work on a plan together to solve the problem. There are thousands of resources about money. I am reviewing a book now " You are a Badass at Making Money". Don't let money ruin your marriage relationship. There is plenty of help here which is where I might start. The secret to dealing with issues that too often get in our way, is to get new information and change your attitude about it. Start here and if you find that your issues are more than just money get some professional marriage help.
Marriage counseling can be very successful. If both of you desire to want to have a healthy relationship then such counseling will be value added. Seek out based on you description, a licensed psychologist or therapist who is experienced in dealing with communication issues. A good resource starting point is the most current version of the book, Messages by McKay et. al.
There are two important factors that predict whether therapy is a success – how you rate your feelings about your therapist and how you rate your sense of progress during therapy. Also, keep in mind that in couples therapy, you are both the clients, therefore your husband would have to be a willing participant and feel that he and the relationship are progressing in therapy.

You could read about the effectiveness of marriage counseling on Psychotherapy Networker.
The success of marriage counseling depends on the willingness of both partners to to look inward at what they have the power to change and to stop trying to change what you can’t change. The topic of arguing is not usually the primary problem. It is usually the underlying issue that is the problem. Not feeling loved and respected. I counsel couples often and when each partner is able to better understand each other’s deepest need, communication skills improve. I recommend the book “Love and Respect” by Dr Emerson Eggerichs.
Marriage counseling is great. I suggest that over anything. Find the right counselor for the both of you. You may have to go through a few first