“My daughter is addicted to her phone. What can I do?”

This is such a common issue with not only teens but even adults and younger children; screens are addictive! Setting up guidelines about how much she can use the phone and having her earn time by doing other more interactive/social or appropriate activities may be helpful. Discussing with her the dangers of excessive phone use may or may not work. Work on your relationship with her. It is not unreasonable to make phone use at or after certain times (such as bedtime, homework and mealtimes) forbidden.

I would talk with her directly about that and suggest there might be something regular you might do together, I would suggest it would be worth identifying some pleasurable way to regular spend time with her, Maybe a dinner out with her each week, or making a meal together to share once a week, ( work with her to identify something she and you would enjoy.
Also in agreement with any other adult in the house it might be reasonable to make certain times as no phone time -meals , maybe some other times. If she were to completely refuse to participate or is disrespectful about it a hiatus from the phone would be indicated.

Adolescents are busy emotionally moving away from family and developing close relationships with peers.   What is your daughter doing on her phone?  Talking or texting with friends, gaming, or on the internet?  Does she have ample opportunity to be involved with friends (in person)?  Going to movies, the mall, a study group, or other activities?   Life provides a time for various activities that helps a person become a well-rounded individual. 

How much time is she spending on the phone?  Some cell phones will now record and report an average daily time spent on the phone (this may be averaged over a week and daily use reported weekly).  A person caught up in various activities often does not realize how much time they are spending with the activity.  So, the report can be a reality check.   I would recommend setting a reasonable amount of daily time on electronics (phone, TV, computer, iPad, etc).  Monitor what is being watched.  Some computer sites are not appropriate for a 15 yo and these should be blocked.  There are ways to have computers shut off after a preset time limit.   Some teens need to relinquish their phone at a consistent preset time every night (maybe 9 or 10pm).  Sleep is important.  It's a family decision if a phone should be allowed at school.  It should be for emergencies only in my opinion.  Otherwise, it's a potential distraction.   If your daughter is indeed spending many hours daily on electronics, I would recommend weaning the time spent from electronics to other activities (sports, hobbies, friend interactions, etc).  An addiction will not be easily and rarely voluntarily given up.  Something is driving this activity in her.  She might find it helpful to talk to a therapist, and / or family therapy might be useful.  Then goals can be discussed with a plan, and follow-up sessions can check on progress or reasons for unaccomplished goals.  I would wonder about an underlying mood problem (anxiety or depression).  This should be evaluated as part of the plan. 

Sincerely,

Susan Sparkman, MD   

Regulate use of phone with firm limit setting. Help her to substitute with something social and/or more productive.

Have a discussion focused on seeing limits to phone use. Try and set aside family time where face to face contact with family is encouraged, and study time without the phone. Use positive reinforcement as well way to get her get phone time, rather than negative reinforcement, like punishment etc.,Which only disturbs family relationships. All this of course must be gradual and there are always bumps in the road

Many teens are "addicted" to their phones (and so are many of their parents!)

You can put time limits on phone use and let her earn more phone time by doing other things that she needs to do, such as homework, chores, etc. Everyone needs limits, and the earlier that children know they have limits, the easier it is for everyone.

This is a complicated and now basically universal problem for parents. In the absence of inappropriate phone use (e.g., sexting), or any serious psychiatric illness, or problematic family conflict, often the first place to start is a discussion with the teenager in question. It is crucial for teenagers to connect with their peers, yet for the most part they still want to please their parents. Hence, teenagers may be able to participate in negotiating a compromise between needed socialization and appropriate limits of phone (or screen) use, especially if they hear that parents are in favor of social connection, in principle. Teenagers, like the rest of us, are more willing to take advice or follow commands from someone who is curious and will acknowledge their point of view (parents need not agree, or disagree, just listen and show understanding). Thus, it appears pertinent that you say you do not know who she is anymore. Consider getting to know her, assuming she will let you, before trying to change her phone use.

For further discussion of sexting, see the recent posts on my blog:
https://www.drcarlfleisher.com/single-post/2018/05/22/ChildMindorg---How-to-talk-to-your-kids-about-sexting

and

https://www.drcarlfleisher.com/single-post/2018/01/02/Sexting-the-other-side

NB: This post does not constitute medical advice, please see the disclaimer in my Expert Blog for details.

Define specific times when there are phone free zones like dinner. Definitely state a time when phone activity stops even if you have to take it and turn it off.

Allison V. Downer, M.D.

PMDD (PreMenstrual Dysphoric Disorder) is when women have mood symptoms several days before onset of menses and usually with onset of menses it get better or disappear.
Some antidepressant meds approved for that, or some women may take oral contraceptive tablets to manage symptoms.
However, your daughter needs to be evaluated by pediatrician for that and follow instructions.
I do not recommend starting ANY medications without contacting your doctor.