Women's Health

Lupus Advocate Jokiva Bellard's Journey to Feeling Beautiful After Diagnosis

Her insecurities about her skin had a major impact on her relationship.

attractive enough to deserve her husband. “I would talk to my husband and tell him to leave me, because I wasn’t beautiful,” Bellard reveals. She would ask him questions like “Why are you with me?” and “why do you love me?” She couldn’t believe that he would take the time to tell her that she was beautiful when she was unable to see that in herself.

At the same time, she would also want to hear that she was beautiful from her husband. Eventually, during an especially honest conversation, Bellard realized that she needed to accept the love that people were trying to give her.

“Make me glow,” Bellard would request of her husband. “And he was like, ‘I’m making you glow. You’re just not receiving it. How can I keep giving you something you’re not willing to accept?”