How to Support a Loved One With Binge Eating Disorder

Whether it is a friend, significant other, child, or extended family member, it isn’t easy watching someone you love damage their health through compulsive overeating. From the outside looking in, eating disorders are difficult to understand. They are far more complex than destructive eating habits. At the core, eating disorders, such as binge eating, are usually attempts to deal with troubling emotional issues or thought patterns. Whatever the case may be, someone you care about is struggling with binge eating disorder, it is crucial to know how you can best support them.

Understanding Binge Eating Disorder

In order to successfully support a loved one who is struggling with binge eating disorder, you must become educated on the condition. Binge eating disorder (BED) is the most common type of eating disorder that affects nearly 2% of people worldwide. Even though most people associate eating disorders with women, up to 40% of people with binge eating disorder are male. Furthermore, the onset of BED typically begins in the late teens and early twenties.

People struggling with BED may eat a surplus of food in a short period of time even when they don’t feel hungry. Oftentimes, emotional stress or difficulties trigger episodes of binge eating. As a result, these individuals often suffer from depression, loneliness, and low-self esteem.

Although people may feel a sense of relief or relaxation during a binge, most feel shame or embarrassment afterward due to the loss of control they have experienced. To be diagnosed with BED, people must experience at least three of the following symptoms:

• Eating faster than usual
• Continuing to eat until uncomfortably full
• Eating large amounts when not feeling hungry
• Preferring to eat alone due to feelings of shame or embarrassment
• Feeling guilt or disgust with oneself

Scientists don’t fully understand the causes of binge eating disorder, but it is likely due to a variety of risk factors ranging from genetics, gender, brain changes, body size, trauma, and other psychological conditions. Frequently, episodes of binge eating are triggered by dieting, stress, shame about body weight, or even boredom.

If left untreated, BED is linked to a variety of social, emotional, and physical health risks. For example, people with BED are a higher risk for heart disease, diabetes, obesity, stroke, cancer, sleep problems, pain conditions, irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), and more. As a result, these individuals are highly susceptible to have a high rate of hospitalization and necessary emergency care. Even though BED is a serious and devastating condition, there are a number of available treatments for BED and ways you can support an afflicted loved one.

Confronting a Loved One About Binge Eating

If you are concerned that a friend or a family member has binge eating disorder, it is vital that you say something. Although you may be scared to confront your loved one, doing so may make the difference between good and poor health in the long term. It may even mean the difference between life and death. After all, many people who suffer from eating disorders are terrified to speak up because they are afraid to be judged or suffer a blow to their already struggling self-esteem. Whatever the case may be, leaving an eating disorder ignored will only worsen the effects of the condition. The sooner you confront your loved one and urge them to seek help, the better.

Tips for Talking to Someone About an Eating Disorder

Confronting someone struggling with binge eating disorder may not be easy, but it is necessary. Some things you will want to avoid when talking to your loved one include:

• Making comments about the person’s appearance. People with binge eating disorder are already insecure and likely subject to bullying. There is no need to feed into this by making observations about their appearance.
• Overwhelming the person with questions or accusations. Rather than saying “you have to eat healthier or you’re going to die,” try saying, “I’m worried about what will happen to you if you don’t seek help.”
• Pressuring or threatening them to seek help. In the end, the decision to seek help is up to the afflicted individual. You cannot force them or set ultimatums as it may only push your loved one away.
• Placing blame on your loved one. Binge eating disorder is a mental health condition and your loved one is not at fault.
• Offer personal help or solutions to the problem (your friend needs professional help, something that you likely cannot and should not try to provide)

 

Instead, some things to keep in mind while having the conversation are:

• Focus on feelings rather than eating habits, calories, body size, or appearance
• Listen with respect and compassion. If your friend is willing to talk and open up to you, it is your responsibility to listen without passing judgment, no matter how irrational they may sound.
• Express why you are concerned without lecturing or criticizing your friend. Instead, point out specific situations and behaviors that worry you.
• Express your genuine desire to help. If your friend shuts you out, make it clear to them that you will always be there to lend your support.
• Share your personal struggles with eating disorders, if applicable
• Let your friend know you are willing to help them seek treatment. Don’t offer simple solutions like, “just accept yourself!” Instead, have a plan in mind of a local treatment facility that will help your friend.
• Stay calm, collected, and persistent. If your friend becomes defensive, do not take it personally. He or she likely feels scared, embarrassed, and threatened.

Encouraging a Loved One to Seek Help for Binge Eating Disorder

In addition to confronting and offering support to your loved one, the most important part of the conversation is encouraging them to seek professional help. The longer binge eating disorder is left untreated, the more of a toll it takes on the body and the overall health of the individual. If you’ve managed to open up a conversation around the problem, it is imperative to urge your loved one to visit their doctor immediately.

Visiting a primary care physician is a great place to start when seeking help for BED. A doctor will assess your loved one’s symptoms, physical health, and mental health while screening for any additional problems that may be involved. If your friend refuses to call the doctor, offer to call and set up an appointment for a simple physical for them - just to get checked out. Then, the doctor can put the situation into a medical perspective for your loved one.

Supporting a Loved One in Recovery from Binge Eating Disorder

If your loved one agrees to seek treatment, that is wonderful news. However, eating disorders are chronic conditions that don’t go away, rather, their symptoms subside and people are thought to be in recovery. As a result, it is important to know how to support your loved one after they have completed treatment for BED. Some ways to offer your continuing support include:

• Setting a positive example by eating nutritious and balances meals yourself.
• Avoid making self-criticizing remarks about your own body or remarks about other people’s bodies.
• Promote better self-esteem by encouraging your loved one to participate in activities they enjoy.
• Encourage healthy and fun eating by eating with friends and family or avoiding stressful places.
• Be mindful of people, places, and things that may trigger your loved one’s eating disorder.
• Continue to offer your non-judgmental and unending emotional support.
• Take care of yourself. If you become so busy taking care of your loved one, you will neglect your own needs and find that you have nothing else to give. Always remember to take time for yourself.

If you or someone you love is struggling with binge eating disorder, know that you are not alone and that help is available. Rather than letting yourself or your loved one suffer in silence, speak up, and get the help you deserve.