It's a roller coaster ride, a never ending roller coaster ride.

What is it like being an autism mom? The ups, the downs, and the emotional struggle.

It can be private and lonely.  It is very scary for autistics and you have to always be on guard for a melt down.  Many people say they understand but if your not raising a special needs child you don't.  Noises, too much chaos and not being understood can set an autistic child off.  My child tried to make friends but because of her differences the other kids didn't tolerate her and even bullied her so badly she no longer tries to socialize. Most parents allow their children to ostracize autistics consciously or subconsciously this is done, so there is not a lot of interaction between the families.  The only time I can relax is at an event with other parents of special needs kids.

What fears do you face as you raise your child?

My daughter is an adult now but I always feared someone hurting her. This does stem from my child hood as I was attacked as a child, I was able to tell someone, my daughter didn't speak well until she was 10, and even then she never spoke up, I had to find out about the bullies by someone else and they only stopped when I threatened to call the police on them.  Their families called the police on my daughter for playing with their animals, she loves animals, but one time my mom let one of the puppies in our house because it was raining hard and the family kept the puppy outside.  My daughter gave the puppy a bath, right after wards they picked up the puppy, even though my mom told them she let the puppy in they still called the cops on my daughter.

What do you wish other moms knew about what you go through?

I am always on edge about what will happen in public, I wish more parents would try to teach their kids tolerance.

Do you have other autism mommies who have inspired you?

No unfortunately I did everything on my own. I had to do the research to learn how my daughter processed language, this helped a lot.