How Fibromyalgia Has Impacted My Role as a Mom

How has fibromyalgia affected you as a mom?

I never knew any different after my kids came along.  I had lived with the pain and discomfort for so long I thought it was part of life.   I pushed myself to attend sports, academics and dance classes all the while by being in pain.   My kids didn't seem to notice other than I was grumpier than other moms most of the time.   It was only after they were in bed that I would lie down and cry myself to sleep from the pain and disappointment in not being able to participate like other parents.  Now as a grandmother, nothing has changed.  I still push myself to be there for my grands but feel like less of a grandmother than others I see enjoying time spent without restrictions.

How do your children inspire you to keep on going?

Growing up with parents who worked a lot and struggled I have a desire to try and do it all.   My father was disabled but never let that stop him from trying to be the best dad he could be.   While on crutches, he would toss the baseball for us and play badmitton when he could.  His drive is in me as well.  I always try to be involved with my kids and grandkids and the smiles on their faces and the memories we are making keep me going each and every day.

What advice do you have for other moms with fibromyalgia?

I am guilty of the same sin as most fibromyalgia sufferers - putting everyone else before myself.   I am doing better with that and suggest that everyone try to do this as well.  While I have tried to be there for everything, I wasn't always my best and that caused disappointment with the total experience.   Do what you can but don't overdo.

What do you wish your children would understand?

Children have needs that trump mom's needs most of the time, however, a sick mommy cannot meet her child's needs a lot of the time.   I always wished my kids would understand what my body was going through with each activity I participated in without feeling the pain themselves.   I wanted my children to understand that everyone doesn't always have a great day whether they are an adult or a child.   I wish chronic pain was a distant memory and didn't need explaining but we tried to deal with it together.