Fibromyalgia

Hi there! I am a 44 year old mother of four amazing, but high maintenance children. Once upon a time I had a career (several actually), loved traveling, and was the devoted wife to an educator and basketball coach. In 2013 I began to notice that I was dropping things a lot, and that my hands seemed to hurt all the time. He ruled out carpal tunnel and other issues, but in February 2014 I came down with shingles on my head and face. In April my AMAZING GP diagnosed Fibromyalgia. The disease became worse and worse as my fatigue and depression increase and my FM was using the damaged shingle nerves to send shooting pain across my head and face for hours on end. The winters were the worst! That was when I lived in Wyoming. In 2017 we moved to Nevada (yea cannabis access!), the added stress of a move did something very bad to my system, and in March 2018 I was diagnosed with severe ME as my now #1 Primary issue. This is all in addition to my Degenerative Disk Disease (diagnosed and fused in 1999) and IC/PBS. In 2015 I was also in a car accident and now suffer from SI Joint, cervical spine issues, and my L3 disk was completely obliterated.

I lay in my bed on my computer and binge watch a lot of Netflix and Amazon shows. I get involved in church and my children's school activities forcing myself to get up and out as much as possible. I also have a husband who works very hard but is definitely over my illnesses. He doesn't know that I lay here and dream of going back to school, opening up a store, consulting and public speaking again. I dream of traveling the world too. As much as he resents ME for having these diseases, there is no way he can even comprehend the frustration that I have as I lay here in a broken body, unable to be the person I always thought I would become. The Mommy-Guilt is especially bad. He doesn't see that this is his trial too...he only sees how I screwed up his life. Perhaps the plans that God has for me are bigger than the plans that I had for myself. I have never felt closer to God, or stronger in spirit as I do now. I have decided to keep dreaming, praying for a cure, and advocating and raising awareness in anyway that I am able. I am a warrior.