I Felt Your Pain

It's always difficult to fully relate to patients in pain. All we can do as physicians is listen, gather all of the information that we can, address our suspected diagnosis, then treat. However, can we actually FEEL your pain?

Last month, I started having small backache. A few hours later, it was a moderate muscle spasm. The next day, I was fully incapacitated. I'd never experienced anything like this. I couldn't move without feeling as if I was being stabbed by one of those GAME OF THRONES swords through the middle of my spine. Turning my head was almost impossible without the piercing pain that took my breath. Given that I had no coverage at work, I worked through this. After barely making the car ride, I started my day with fear. The pandemic mask I worse along with my glasses hid my tears as I tried my best to take patient histories and address the needs of my patients. When the day was done, I sat on one of my office chairs and wept.

Not only did the pain take its toll physically, but I was psychologically exhausted. I had no mental strength left and was depressed. I would do anything to stop feeling this way. As a pain doctor, I tell my patients, "DO NOT take meds not prescribed to you! DO NOT take multiple medications at one time! DO NOT take more than prescribed! Use ice and Ibuprofen." Well, sad to say, I realize why people may not be so compliant. I saw why people go to the emergency room for pain meds and may not follow their doctor's treatment plan. The first words out of my mouth to my wife were, "Do we have any pain medications in the cabinet?"

This is not to say that it is OK to disregard doctor advice and be non-compliant with a pain medication program. However, this ordeal at least allowed me to understand the psyche of a pain patient to a small extent. I felt my stomach sour and burn from the quantities of Ibuprofen. I became so nauseous from my first dose of Hydrocodone that the act of vomiting only worsened my pain. The muscle relaxers made me so sedated that I could barely get up in the morning. My painful episode started to tail off after 10 days. However, it made me think of those who are not as fortunate.  

In my practice, I have so many patients with severe debilitating chronic conditions that will not get better with rest. This includes those with rheumatological disorders, cancer pain, osteoarthritis, neurological conditions, etc. I see so many people that go through this same experience for 10 years (not 10 days) or even more. 

My pain episode has taught me empathy. It is important as physicians that we do not simply dismiss pain and refuse to help. We as physicians must think as if we were in similar situations how we manage in certain circumstances. We must teach our patients that it is important to be compliant, but chastising or "firing" patients in unique situations may not always be appropriate. During my 10+/10 pain week, I was desperate for any relief and would have done anything to get better. We as doctors need to have empathy for those in similar situations.