What is sexting?
Sexting is an exchange of sexts via mobile phone. So, what is a sext? A sext is an explicit photo or sexy text, (simply put: blend of sex and text), that partners are exchanging, which often evolves into a whole sexting conversation. The sext does not have to be just a text with a couple of sentences; it can be a whole sexting paragraph or paragraphs, but the length of a sext varies from person to person. With the expansion of the internet, and especially smartphones with various applications and excellent quality cameras, rules and communication in relationships have changed a lot. The era of an innocent loving relationship and the exchanging of love letters is a history in the past, because online communication has taken the primary role of communication in our lives. Today’s expression of love and affection is a bit different, even though some people are loyal to classic traditions, some are taking it to the next level. This is not so unexpected, because today’s relationships are suffering a lot due to the modern style of living where people are often forced to move to another city or even state in order to make more money or just keep their job, or they can be set apart due to other responsibilities and obligations. Being transferred because of job does not affect only you, but also your family and your partner. With being set apart for a long period of time, partners must find a way to keep their relationship fresh and there is no better way than sexting conversations. Still, sexting is not reserved only for partners who are in long-distance relationships. All people in relationships sooner or later try out sexting. It can make better their sex lives and bring them closer emotionally, so it is a lot more than just simply sending a text or a picture. Especially if one of the partners is shy, sexting can set them free in their relationship and build trust between partners.
Pros and cons of sexting
As anything, sexting can have its good sides and bad sides. The good sides are building trust between partners, liberating you if you are shy, keeping the relationship fresh and exciting, and taking the relationship to the next level. But, there are negatives to sexting, too. One negative aspect of sexting is that your partner will have your explicit photographs. There have been a number of incidents in which such photographs have been used as revenge on a cheating ex or someone who ended the relationship.
Each one of us knows of a person who had the problem of their ex-partner exposing their naked pictures to other people, just out of spite or revenge. This situation can crush any person, especially women. Maybe celebrities are getting a stronger punch in this situation, because most of them are known in more countries and even the whole world knows them. So they are more vulnerable and exposed to this kind of behavior of their ex-partners. Some really famous women have experienced their pictures leaking into public, like Katy Perry, Jennifer Lawrence, Scarlett Johansson and many others.
When it comes to sext messages, there are a lot of types, so depending on the personalities of the partners in the relationship, they choose what kind of messages will they enjoy the most. One type of sext is called a preview. Previews are the types of messages where you describe what you will do to a partner. Requests are the messages where you explain to your partner what you demand them to say or do to you. Also, there are types of messages where you describe the thing you like to fantasize about, possibly inserting some common fantasies like being tied up or tying up your partner, a threesome, or even a scene from a movie. Some conversations include teasing, which is pretty common in any relationship, regardless of sexting. Teasing a partner through sexting especially if it includes the delay of pleasure is the thing that will make you partner lose his or her mind and leave everything they are doing and run to your house. The effective thing, usually for longer relationships, are the messages containing past memories, which means that partners explored a lot sexually and they can reminisce the good times because they know what they love the most. As in any other aspect of a relationship, compliments are always welcome and sexting is not any exception. The least popular type of sexting messages are ones when you cannot figure out what to say, but you have to respond, so you end up with some lame messages but something is better than nothing.
There are people who are talented for any kind of sexy conversations, online or in person. But there is the other half of people, who are a little clumsy in these things. They are usually shy, so they seek some sexting tips and guides on how to properly participate in sexting. There are a lot of tips on the internet, but everybody should adapt them to their personality and not do anything that makes them uncomfortable.
So, how to sext him or her? Here is some advice.
Firstly, when sexting, you always have to keep in mind that you need to adjust the sexting conversation to you and your partner. Just like any other partners in a relationship, you have your own language - the words and phrases that you prefer, inside jokes or memories. If you are new at sexting, the easiest way to start is to remember some earlier memory which you can describe in detail or use your humor showing that sexting is supposed to be fun and playful, not forced obligation. The most common mistake beginners make is that they cross the line in the terms of explicitness. Bigger is not the better in this case. The goal is to make your relationship more passionate, not to gross yourself and your partner out. Bottom line, you have to know the dosage. Also, if your relationship is still new, you don’t want to come off as crazy and insatiable, which can chase your (new) partner away because they might think they are not at your high level. Next, both of the partners should participate, because it is not fun if you as one side are sending all the messages. Encourage your partner to follow you and tell you how they feel and what they should do. But, keep in mind that you should not make empty promises. You must be willing to do what you promise. Otherwise, your partner will feel deceived. One thing everybody should know is that you should not sext a person you have never had sex with. Also, you should pay attention to auto-correct which can make your messages really weird and not at all sexy, so make sure it is turned off.
When it comes to mobile apps that are used for sexting, there are a lot of them, paid or free sexting apps, sexting apps for android or iOS - you just have to choose the one that fits you. HouseTab is an app that shows the available people in the same bar you are hanging out at, so you can communicate with the people near you that you like. You can buy them an actual drink, send them a drink over the app, and they can take it at the bar. Next, Tinder makes it easier to meet people that are nearby, in your area, by using your location. So, you do not have to go far to meet someone. But also, it is a great app for messaging. Wickr is a light version of Snapchat, because it does not have filters and stories, but it is an app where you can share your nudes safely. Safety is a guarantee with this app, maybe because the co-founder is a woman, so the company paid attention to privacy. FaceTime is an app similar to Skype, which provides video conversation which can be used for communication face to face with your partner.
As we mentioned earlier, there are different types of sext messages- previews, requests, teasing, compliments, etc. Also, we can differentiate the messages for him or for her, but most of the examples you can find on the internet can go both ways. Here are our recommendations to fire up your relationship:
- I’m going to make you beg for it.
- Guess what I'm thinking? OK, I'll give you a hint. It involves my tongue and you, naked.
- If you could do anything you want to me, what would you do?
- I’ve got a surprise waiting for you.
- Your messages have me so distracted.
- What's the dirtiest thought you've ever had about me?
- I can’t control myself when I’m near you.
- I'd rather be in bed with you right now.
- I can’t wait any longer. I need you and your body.
- It’s so hot to imagine you tying me up.
- Let me take control tonight.
- I can’t get enough of you.
- You should probably clear your schedule for tomorrow morning because I plan on staying up late with you tonight. Very late.
- I’m going to let you do anything you want to me.
- I want you to tease me until I can’t take it any longer.
- I can’t get last night out of my mind.
- I thought of something I want to do to you tonight.
- I want you to be really rough.
- I’ve been a bad girl and I need someone to punish me.
- It’s too bad you’re not here right now.
Sexting means the exchange of sexy texts or sexy pictures, but because of modern technology, it is more and more popular to send sexy pictures. But still, a text can fire things up, because it is a detailed description of sexual actions, and the picture just stays the picture. Maybe the best way of sexting is to send a picture with a sexy text, for a full experience.
KIK is an app that was once Blackberry’s messaging service and today is the app that enables you to send texts without the usage of your phone number, which means you can keep anonymity. It is a great app to use for sexting. But there has been controversy involving children exploitation.
Snapchat is probably the most famous app for sexting. Before, there were so many messaging apps, but Snapchat was the first one to provide their users advanced features like disappearing images, SNAP emojis and advanced picture filters. So, it was a leader in this area for a long time. Now, it is threatened by Frankly messenger. Frankly is a simple messenger and it is easy to use. It uses phone numbers and e-mails to connect various people.
- A sext is an explicit photo or sexy text, (simply put: blend of sex and text), that partners are exchanging, which often evolves into a whole sexting conversation.
- There are pros and cons of sexting, and the pros include keeping the relationship fresh and exciting and taking the relationship to the next level.
- When sexting, you should keep in mind that you need to adjust the sexting conversation to you and your partner.