Councelor/Therapist Questions Marriage Counseling

How to fix our marriage and prevent divorce?

My wife of 22 years told me yesterday that she wanted a divorce. I know I haven't been the most present husband but I never cheated on her. I don't want to give up on our marriage or the love we have. What methods can we use to work on our marriage?

5 Answers

Hi,

Thank you for your question. It sounds like there are relationship and communication issues between you and your wife that are contributing to her wanting a divorce. Since you don't want to give up on the marriage, I would recommend that you seek couples counseling to work through any problems and create some solutions together in a safe environment.
I hope this has been helpful!

Best,

Jenna Torres, PsyD
Relationships are about communication. Why does your wife want the divorce? What about the marriage is making her unhappy? Relationships require two people to be fully present and willing to work. You said that you want to work on the marriage but does she? Finding out the answers to these questions will let you know if you can save the marriage. If so, going to a marriage counselor is recommended. You may also want to get your own individual counselor. An individual counselor may be beneficial for you regardless because they will be able to help you through this situation.
Marriage counseling is an option that may help in this situation. Asking if she is willing to try therapy before ending the relationship may be helpful and if she is willing to try therapy, there are many couples counseling techniques that may improve the relationship.

Thank you,

Patricia Harris | MA, LPC

I would recommend marriage counseling to understand why she has asked for a divorce and what she is needing as well as discover what your needs are in the marriage.

Sara Cole, MS, LPC, CAC III, NCC
Hello and thank you for reaching out. While this is a difficult time there is no easy answer or quick fix. Without knowing the details, I would suggest you and your wife sit down and discuss what is going on if it is possible. If it is too hard, I would suggest seeking marital therapy to discuss any concerns and to possibly work things out.