Psychologist Questions Transgender Health

Small penis and crossdressing?

My step-mother used to say my small penis was the reason I liked to wear my step-sister's clothes. Also a sign I should have been a girl. Was she right? I still dress today.

Male | 45 years old

11 Answers

PsychologistTransgenderHealth
There is no data that supports a small penis has any link to cross dressing. And are you aware of the average erect penis is 5.16 inches?
Thank you for sharing something so personal its clear that this comment from your stepmother has had a lasting impact, and its understandable that youre still thinking about it.

To begin with, there is no scientific or clinical evidence to support the idea that penis size is linked to gender identity or the desire to wear clothing typically associated with another gender. Wearing certain types of clothing, regardless of gender norms, can be an expression of identity, comfort, or personal style. Its not inherently tied to anatomical characteristics or a sign of being one gender or another.

What is wellsupported in research is that early negative or shaming messages around gender expression can leave emotional scars, especially when they come from caregivers or authority figures. If youre still dressing today and it brings you comfort or authenticity, thats valid. It does not mean theres anything wrong with you rather, it could be part of how you express yourself or process your identity.

These are deeply personal experiences, and navigating them can be complex, especially if youre still affected by past judgments. I strongly encourage you to speak with a therapist who has experience in gender identity, trauma, or selfimage. A qualified therapist can help you explore these thoughts in a safe, nonjudgmental space and better understand what your preferences and experiences mean to you, without shame or stigma.

You deserve support and clarity and youre not alone.
No she was not correct. Amanda Edwards, Ph.D. Licensed Counseling Psychologist and Clinical Sports Psychologist Team Sports Psychologist for the Buffalo Sabres cell 850 2642011 Please note that I do not regularly check email during evenings and weekends. If you are in need of immediate assistance, please utilize the following resources Crisis Services of Erie County 716 8343131 National Suicide Hotline 1800273TALK 8255 National Crisis Text Line text HOME to 741741 Confidentiality Notice This email transmission may contain confidential or legally privileged information that is intended for the individual or entity named in the email address. Use of such information by any intended recipient shall be limited to the purpose for which such information was sent. Unauthorized use, disclosure, or copying is strictly prohibited. If you received this email transmission in error, please reply to the sender and delete the message. Thank you.
Your grandmothers comments impress me as an uninformed judgment regarding the relationship between the size of your penis and a misalignment of your birth sex. Perhaps she was also considering other observations she had made, but didnt feel comfortable in mentioning them? Your preference for crossdressing may suggest something about your preferred sexrole identification, although it also doesnt prove anything. By age 40, I should think youve had lots of experiences that shed light on that. And should you have questions, it may be helpful for you to explore that further.
No. There is no such evidence.
A small penis has nothing to do with cross dressing. Most male cross dressers are heterosexual. The psychological reason for cross dressing is still unknown. Cross dressers and transgender are two very different things.
No! The size of your penis does not have anything to do with cross dressing. I would say I am concerned about why your stepmother knows anything about the size of your penis!
It’s important that regular counseling explorer issues like this. I don’t know from so little information, but it sounds like maybe this was a hurtful comment that you experienced. I know of no physical correlation. I hope you dress however you like. Dress, gender, and sexuality are spectrums. Meaning there are all variations of preference.
Dr. G
Some heterosexual men cross dress. One told me it was because he didn't get enough nurturing from his mom and dressing like a woman was a way to fill up. Who told you that you had a small penis as a child? Shame on them. Often the size of a penis changes with age, and often women don't want a large penis, because it's too painful. So, shame on the grownups of your childhood who advised you wrongly. As you face your feelings of emptiness, perhaps from lack of nurturing, you may gradually not need to cross dress. However, it probably doesn't hurt anyone if you do.
That is a possibility, but a small penis really does not have much to do with cross dressing and even wanting to be a woman. We all have urges and wither we decide to fight them or indulge in them. It’s not the end of the world if you wish to dress and even be a girl at times. It’s okay and God doesn’t dislike you in any manner. Our true selves are light and energy that is all love. We are not make or females until we are born in life forms. Sex is only a material physical thing and it’s okay to venture into that realm if you have many desires. Just be clean and careful.
Consider reviewing these links:

https://www.muscleandfitness.com/women/sex-tips/7-reasons-why-its-ok-if-you-have-small-penis
http://www.cracked.com/personal-experiences-1646-7-things-you-learn-as-straight-guy-whos-crossdresser.html

After reviewing them, you should be able to answer the question asked.