“How can I lower my social anxiety?”

Systematic desensitization is a therapy technique in which a person exposes themselves to problematic situations until they become comfortable with them. When done with a therapist, the person is challenged to place themselves in situations that cause anxiety, starting with a mildly uncomfortable situation and over time placing themselves in more challenging situations. This therapy is best done with the assistance of a therapist.

There are a few ingredients to lowering social anxiety. First, you need to identify from where it came. It's not inborn. If you can't remember then you have to let it go, but know this, whatever the cause, a child inferred s/he was inadequate. It isn't true. None of us are born inadequate, but when we think we are we can create such self-consciousness that it becomes self-fulfilling. You have to have that talk with yourself, that there is nothing wrong with you that you can't fix. Second, you need to get out of yourself. Perhaps, the greatest thing about life is that we get to live it. We get to witness and participate. To do that, we need to get curious. It is amazing out there, and being self-conscious will cause us to waste the miracle. Get curious about others. Get interested. The most worthwhile people are the ones who are curious and interested. Others appreciate it. Third, people of merit are interested in authentic people, as well as highly polished people. Some of us get a late start, and the best we can do is to just be ourselves. That is good enough, if you don't make yourself a burden. You can be humble. You can be a silent watcher who rarely speaks, one who sees, but you must be interested. That makes you appealing to others, someone people would like to get to know. You are interesting, as long as you share your real self without expectation.

Some cognitive behavioral therapy might be of help! You can find many of these online for free. Try to journal your thoughts and feelings as well. Maintain a “coach” attitude. Stay positive and work through the anxiety with assistance from a trusted source. You will succeed if you stick with it.

That’s a complex question. How severe is your social anxiety? How long have you suffered from this? What have you already tried for assistance? Do other people in your family also suffer from this or a related “phobic” anxiety?

For a relatively simple case, a Cognitive Behavioral Approach might be very helpful. I recommend getting a workbook, such as the “Anxiety and Phobia Workbook” by Bourne and following the recommended protocol. Also, perhaps keep a journal of some sort which helps you keep track of your symptoms, frequency, particularly triggering events.

If you are overwhelmed by this anxiety and find yourself avoiding people more and more often, I would suggest getting the assistance of a mental health professional.
This is a quite common and treatable ailment.

Good luck!

With special therapy where you can expose yourself to the stress, and medications can help as well.

This link provides some insight into your question:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/shyness-is-nice/201305/must-have-coping-strategies-social-anxiety