If You or Someone You Love Were Able to Be Symptom-Free for One Day, How Would You Spend the Time?

What would you do that you aren't able to do now?

A symptom-free day would include a sense of wild abandon. Mental freedom that would break free of the physical limitations of my condition. The symptoms I experience means I spend a lot of time at home. Therefore, I've had to stop working! I am limited with mobility and my mind focuses on matters to do with my physical needs, in particular; my Stoma requirements, nourishment, and hydration, resting intermittently if walking, and trying to keep my personal space intact. To be free of such concerns would leave space for joyfulness and an enthusiasm for life that I feel and express, but, which is tempered by my limitations, so on that day;

I’d shower, without concern of being dizzy or irritated by the water now that I have a Stoma and can't stand water on my skin or seeping into my bowel. It causes a reaction within my epidermis! I would pamper my skin, hair and pay attention to my appearance before choosing from my wardrobe what to wear and not be hindered by the pile of washing collected because I can only do laundry when I have help now.

Breakfast may be whatever is easiest at that moment. A banana would keep me going for a while and by the time mid-morning comes around, I might have something more substantial but as it is, my diet is driven by my Stoma and bowel and so, to ensure I start the day right, I have to replenish my salt first thing. I may allow my taste buds to dictate what I eat! Then I could forget about food until I was hungry or had time to grab lunch, late or healthy, it wouldn't matter, I'd rely on remembering to eat versus having to eat to be able to function.

My day would consist of no work, just because I'm spending it on me! I am in demand but I'm worth waiting for as I am knowledgeable, reliable, and damned good at what I do. Today is a rare day off and I'm having it all to myself and so, I'm going to dance to disconnect from my work phone, email, and media stream and instead lose myself in music, until I go to the shops with my list. Im cooking tonight.  

I'd run for the bus, sit next to a stranger free of anxiety about my low immunity or breathlessness. I'd hug the friend I'd bump into as we went about our chores and bemoan the expectations of us as parents, wives, partners to feed everyone! We’d gossip a little, share tales about the kids, dogs, work, you know, the normal conversations which are pleasant and amiable. The total opposite of the anxiety others have on their face when they ask me; How are you?

I'd laugh wholeheartedly with the acquaintances/neighbors I'd spend time being social with, knowing I'd have the energy to carry on with my immediate purpose. I'd take to task the rudeness of the able-bodied person using the Disabled Parking Space for convenience and I'd insist they move the car without feeling so vulnerable as to be seriously disadvantaged. I'd feel like I'd stood up for the underdog and I'd like myself for it.

I’d wander along the village shops, window shopping, browsing, and just looking, and after buying the days required groceries, I may walk home, carrying the bag or 2 of shopping and smile at strangers I sidestepped on the pavement as if we were dancing. I know I would flirt with everyone as the gleam in my eye seems to suggest I am, rather than, it is interrupted as my zest for life. I don't mind, I know it makes someone's day every once in a while.

I might imagine, daydream about the rest of the day; the family which no longer lives with me, enjoying my labors, eating, chatting, laughing at the dinner table then cleaning up afterward, hoovering the fallen food bits, chastising and teasing them about their obvious lack of table manners, all along, reassuring them with hugs and tender physical touches. I'd placate any raw nerve with the dessert I made earlier, if I felt generous I would have made Clementine Cake and served it with custard. 

And then, as the evening draws in, everyone who matters has been fed and I could sit down for the first time since morning, I'd remember the dog needed walking and with delight, I'd get excited and chipper and shriek, "Walkies Po"...his bounding, overly excited self would head straight for me and Id bend down lower to greet his enthusiasm with ruffles of his wrinkly face and slip the lead onto his collar. Dressed in my walking boots and warm, scruffy, dog walking coat we'd head out the door together, thrilled to be escaping the house, eager to see who was out doing the same, full of anticipation for the adventure of meeting the other dogs en route. I wouldn't be worried about his pulling or how strong he was or how easy it was for his bounding joy to trip me up and cause me to break my now delicate joints. I wouldn't be feeling guilty for only being able to let him out into the garden for his business and I wouldn't have had to ask my brother to take him in because I was too ill to care for our fur family member!

Settling back into the comfort of the sofa, de-booted, warmed up and dog content in his spot, I'd snuggle up to my significant other and nestled under his arm, enjoying the evening film yet all the while, letting him know I was feeling zesty and fizzing with gusto with my fidgeting and search for the spot where I'm closest to him. My energies have been nurtured by a carefree day and my libido is palpable. He would oblige me, respond appropriately and without any thought of Stoma Bags, Setons, Scarring, Pain or Discomfort, we’d make love. I am a happy woman, my day carefree, easy, and nourishing has been blissful and as I drift off into a happy haze, I plan to book the holiday we've been needing tomorrow. After all, there is no reason now not to make plans and be able to commit to them, given the way my day has been!