Psychologist Questions Divorce

Should we go to counseling before getting divorced?

My husband and myself have decided that it might best for us to divorce, but we still get along, or try to at least. Do you think we should go to counseling before getting divorced?

8 Answers

Things can get unexpectedly messy during a divorce. If you mediate, you may not need counseling, too. If not and if there are kids, I’d recommend counseling to negotiate your wishes amicably before getting lawyers involved.
It depends on what your objectives are. If you want to save the marriage, it could improve communication, trust, and how to relate. If it is intended to confirm the decision to divorce, it sounds like you have already made the decision.

Dr. Purewal

Yes, I think counseling is a good idea. There are many reasons why couples get divorced. Some planning and collaboration about how best to do so is very helpful, particularly if you have children. You may have different ideas about how you=E2=80=99d like things to look for the family, and its helpful to know what each person is envisioning, and what each person wants.
I hope this is helpful.

Nancy J. Warren, PhD
I don’t think that it could hurt anything especially if there are children involved. If you both are on the same page and feel divorce is the best option communication is still going to be a very important part of the relationship concerning kids and trying to get along. Not all therapists try to fix marriages, sometimes they can help with a peaceful split and communication.
Hello, thank you for reaching out. I have a few questions for you to think about. 1. Is the counselling you are looking for to help you work and save the marriage? 2. Would the counselling be to help you make the decision to get divorced? 3. Do both you and your Husband want to save the marriage and are both going willingly and ready to work hard? 4. Do you have children and are wanting to seek counselling services so that you and your soon to be ex-husband are able to co-parent well. Whatever the answers are, be honest to yourselves on why you are wanting to go to counselling prior to getting divorced and make sure you are wanting the same thing. I have often found that some couples come in with two different end goals in mind.
That is entirely up to the both of you. If you both decided to go separate ways then the bond is already broken and life goes on as they say. Divorce is not the end of life. It is only a path to pave a direction for a new beginning.
If both you and your husband are willing to engage in the counseling, it certainly can be fruitful. Even if you divorce, counseling can help couples sort out unresolved matters and things such as co-parenting issues.
You might find this link worth reflecting on.

In general, going to counseling would be an excellent idea.