Building Resilience – Why it is so Important

Building Resilience – Why it is so Important

By

Dr. David J. Koehn

Taken from a series of resources on the internet, here is a synopsis of resilience.

John did not get selected for a new job with a different company from the one he currently worked for. He really wanted out of his current job. His present job is very toxic and is wearing on him immensely. Knowing he could give up and quit his job was on his mind. What should he do? He would need to depend on the strength of his mental fortitude to determine what he would do moving forward. When something goes wrong, do you tend to bounce back or fall apart? Is John capable of bouncing back? 

When you have resilience, you harness inner strength that helps you rebound from a setback or challenge, such as a job loss, an illness, a disaster, or a loved one's death. If you lack resilience, you might dwell on problems, feel victimized, become overwhelmed, or turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as substance abuse. Resilience won't make your problems go away — but resilience can give you the ability to see past them, find enjoyment in life, and better handle stress. If you aren't as resilient as you'd like to be, you can develop skills to become more resilient.

What is Resilience?

Life may not come with a map, but everyone will experience twists and turns, from everyday challenges to traumatic events with more lasting impact, like the death of a loved one, a life-altering accident, or a serious illness. Each change affects people differently, bringing a unique flood of thoughts, strong emotions, and uncertainty. Yet people generally adapt well over time to life-changing situations and stressful situations because in part, thanks to resilience.

Psychologists define resilience as the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, or significant sources of stress such as family and relationship problems, serious health problems, or workplace and financial stressors. As much as resilience involves “bouncing back” from these difficult experiences, it can also involve profound personal growth.

While these adverse events, much like rough river waters, are certainly painful and difficult, they don’t have to determine the outcome of your life. There are many aspects of your life you can control/modify, and grow. That’s the role of resilience. Becoming more resilient not only helps you get through difficult circumstances, but it also empowers you to grow and even improve your life along the way. 

What Resilience is Not

Being resilient doesn’t mean that a person won’t experience difficulty or distress. People who have suffered major adversity or trauma in their lives commonly experience emotional pain and stress. In fact, the road to resilience is likely to involve considerable emotional distress. While certain factors might make some individuals more resilient than others, resilience isn’t necessarily a personality trait that only some people possess. On the contrary, resilience involves behaviors, thoughts, and actions that anyone can learn and develop. The ability to learn resilience is one reason research has shown that resilience is ordinary, not extraordinary. One example is the response of many Americans to September 11, 2001, terrorist attacks, and individuals’ efforts to rebuild their lives after the tragedy. Like building a muscle, increasing your resilience takes time and intentionality. Focusing on four core components: connection, wellness, healthy thinking, and meaning can empower you to withstand and learn from difficult and traumatic experiences.

Adapting to Adversity

To reiterate, resilience is the ability to adapt to difficult situations. When stress, adversity, or trauma strikes, you still experience anger, grief, and pain, but you're able to keep functioning, both physically and psychologically. However, resilience isn't about putting up with something difficult, being stoic, or figuring it out on your own. In fact, being able to reach out to others for support is a key part of being resilient.

Resilience and Mental Health

Resilience can help protect you from various mental health conditions, such as depression and anxiety. Resilience can also help offset factors that increase the risk of mental health conditions, such as being bullied or previous trauma. If you have an existing mental health condition, being resilient can improve your coping ability.

A Very Happy Brain - Tips to Improve your Resilience

If you'd like to become more resilient, consider these tips:

• Get connected. Building strong, positive relationships with loved ones and friends can provide you with needed support and acceptance in good and bad times. Establish other important connections by volunteering or joining a faith or spiritual community.
• Make every day meaningful. Do something that gives you a sense of accomplishment and purpose every day. Set goals to help you look toward the future with meaning.
• Learn from experience. Think of how you've coped with hardships in the past. Consider the skills and strategies that helped you through difficult times. You might even write about past experiences in a journal to help you identify positive and negative behavior patterns to guide your future behavior.
• Remain hopeful. You can't change the past, but you can always look toward the future. Accepting and even anticipating change makes it easier to adapt and view new challenges with less anxiety.
• Take care of yourself. Tend to your own needs and feelings. Participate in activities and hobbies you enjoy. Include physical activity in your daily routine. Get plenty of sleep. Eat a healthy diet. Practice stress management and relaxation techniques, such as yoga, meditation, guided imagery, deep breathing, or prayer.
• Be proactive. Don't ignore your problems. Instead, figure out what needs to be done, make a plan, and take action. Although it can take time to recover from a major setback, traumatic event, or loss, know that your situation can improve if you work at it.
• Improve brain fitness.  Dr., Amen has provided us with a way to improve your brain fitness.  You can take a screening assessment of your brain type and receive a short video of your brain type (there are 16 different types) and a holistic report on what you can do to improve your brain fitness, Areas evaluated are Brain Health, Sleep, Memory, Executive Function, Inner Peace, Mood, and Flexible Thinking. Additional brain fitness recommendations are noted in six universal action steps: reduce stress; increase physical exercise; set goals and track your progress; do mental workouts, strengthen your mind; and build a support community. Also included are suggestions on how to eat healthier and what natural supplements will be helpful. 

Ways to increase your capacity for resilience and grow from the difficulties include these strategies.

Build your Connections

Prioritize relationships. Connecting with empathetic and understanding people can remind you that you’re not alone in the midst of difficulties. Focus on finding trustworthy and compassionate individuals who validate your feelings, which will support the skill of resilience. The pain of traumatic events can lead some people to isolate themselves, but it’s important to accept help and support from those who care about you. Whether you go on a weekly date night with your spouse or plan a lunch out with a friend, try to prioritize genuinely connecting with people who care about you.

Join a group. Along with one-on-one relationships, some people find that being active in civic groups, faith-based communities, or other local organizations provides social support and can help you reclaim hope. Find groups in your area that could offer you support and a sense of purpose or joy when you need it.

Foster Wellness

Take care of your body. Self-care may be a popular buzzword, but it’s also a legitimate practice for mental health and building resilience. That’s because stress is just as physical as it is emotional. Promoting positive lifestyle factors like proper nutrition, ample sleep, hydration, and regular exercise can strengthen your body to adapt to stress and reduce the toll of emotions like anxiety or depression.

Practice mindfulness. Mindful journaling, yoga, and other spiritual practices like prayer or meditation can also help people build connections and restore hope. These activities can prime them to deal with situations that require resilience. When you journal, meditate or pray, ruminate on positive aspects of your life and recall the things you’re grateful for, even during personal trials.

Avoid negative outlets. It may be tempting to mask your pain with alcohol, drugs, or other substances, but that’s like putting a bandage on a deep wound. Focus instead on giving your body resources to manage stress, rather than seeking to eliminate the feeling of stress altogether. 

Find Purpose

Help others. Whether you volunteer with a local homeless shelter or simply support a friend in their own time of need, you can garner a sense of purpose, foster self-worth, connect with other people, and tangibly help others, all of which can empower you to grow in resilience.

Be proactive. It’s helpful to acknowledge and accept your emotions during hard times, but it’s also important to help you foster self-discovery by asking yourself, “What can I do about a problem in my life?” If the problems seem too big to tackle, break them down into manageable pieces. If you got laid off at work, you may not be able to convince your boss it was a mistake, but you can spend an hour each day developing your top strengths or working on your resume. Taking initiative will remind you that you can muster motivation and purpose even during stressful periods increasing the likelihood that you’ll rise up during painful times again.

Move toward your goals. Develop some realistic goals and do something regularly, even if it seems like a small accomplishment. Breaking things down into smaller bits to tackle, enables you to move toward the things you want to accomplish. Instead of focusing on tasks that seem unachievable, ask yourself, “What’s one thing I know I can accomplish today that helps me move in the direction I want to go?” If you’re struggling with the loss of a loved one and you want to move forward, you could join a grief support group in your area.

Look for opportunities for self-discovery. People often find they have grown in some respect as a result of a struggle. After a tragedy or hardship, people have reported better relationships and a greater sense of strength, even while feeling vulnerable. Overcoming a challenging issue increases their sense of self-worth and heightens their appreciation for life.

Embrace Healthy Thoughts

Keep things in perspective. How you think can play a significant part in how you feel and how resilient you are when faced with obstacles. Try to identify areas of irrational thinking, such as a tendency to catastrophize difficulties or assume the world is out to get you. Adopt a more balanced and realistic thinking pattern. If you feel overwhelmed by a challenge, remind yourself that what happened to you isn’t an indicator of how your future will go or that you’re helpless. You may not be able to change a highly stressful event, but you can change how you interpret and respond to it.

Accept change. Accept that change is a part of life. Certain goals or ideals may no longer be attainable as a result of adverse situations in your life. Accepting circumstances that cannot be changed can help you focus on circumstances that you can alter.

Maintain a hopeful outlook. It’s hard to be positive when life isn’t going your way. An optimistic outlook empowers you to expect that good things will happen to you. Try visualizing what you want, rather than worrying about what you fear. Note any subtle ways in which you start to feel better as you deal with difficult situations.

Learn from your past. By looking back at who or what was helpful in previous times of distress, you may discover how you can respond effectively to new difficult situations. Remind yourself of where you’ve been able to find strength and ask yourself what you’ve learned from those experiences.

When to Seek Professional Advice

Becoming more resilient takes time and practice. If you don't feel you're making progress or you don't know where to start, consider talking to a mental health professional. With guidance, you can improve your resiliency and mental well-being.

Imagine you’re going to take a raft trip down a river. Along with slow water and shallows, your map shows that you will encounter unavoidable rapids and turns. How would you make sure you can safely cross the rough waters and handle any unexpected problems that come from the challenge?  Perhaps you would enlist the support of more experienced rafters as you plan your route or rely on the companionship of trusted friends along the way. Maybe you would pack an extra life jacket or consider using a stronger raft. With the right tools and supports in place, one thing is sure: You will not only make it through the challenges of your river adventure, but you will also emerge a more confident and courageous rafter.