- Narcissism is a personality disorder in which a person gives unduly high importance to one’s self and is extremely self-obsessed.
- A narcissistic person has major ego and arrogance problems and he may think that he is superior to others.
- A narcissist would never admit any of his mistakes because he strongly believes that he can never do anything wrong.
A person himself may not even be aware of the fact that he is suffering from narcissism as it is extremely difficult to identify with very few symptoms. Such symptoms may only be identified by a trained therapist. A person suffering from narcissism should always consult a therapist to control his narcissistic behavior.
When dealing and controlling a narcissistic person, flattery should be used as narcissistic people fall for flattery. A narcissistic person tends to believe that he has superior knowledge and wisdom than others and has extraordinary talents and abilities, which make him stand out from others. He also has a high self-esteem along with extraordinary confidence. He feels that he is destiny’s favorite child and is a gift to mankind. It is not always necessary that a narcissistic person always boasts about himself and is an extrovert. In many cases, an extremely shy and introvert individual can also be a narcissist. In this case, he will feel that other people do not know his true value. Generally, men are more narcissistic than women.
Sign 1: It’s always about “you”.
The word narcissism is derived from Greek mythology where a handsome, young man named Narcissus fell in love with his own reflection when he saw it in a pool of water. He always wanted to look at his reflection again and again to admire his handsomeness. Thus, any person who is obsessed with one’s self, looks, talents, and one who thinks highly of himself is called a narcissistic person. It is considered as a mental disorder and is called as narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).
A narcissistic person loves to be the focal point of any conversation. He tends to always deviate from any topic and brings himself to be the focus of the story. He might always want to talk about his achievements whether real or imaginary. He creates an idolized image of himself in front of his colleagues, friends, relatives, and associates, full of fabrication. This manifestation may or may not be appealing to others, but to a narcissistic person, it drives him away from his worries of being an inferior person.
A narcissist would want to dominate on any activity or event assigned and will always have a feeling that he is highly capable of doing a particular task assigned to others in the best way. A "flattering narcissistic" has a quality of charming people as he does not make them feel unimportant and values them. Because of his dominance and extreme confidence, he can impress a lot of people and sway them to his views. His first impression can make people like and admire him as they do not know his true motives.
This facade and outer appearance comes from his inferiority complex and is a part of his game of receiving attention and importance from others. If anybody doubts his potential and abilities, or questions him, that person is done away with. He may use other people's plus points to his benefits and then he might show the back door to that same person. He uses other people's resources and talents for his motives and when his selfish purpose is served, he throws them away. He likes it when people adjust themselves according to his standards, but in return, he does not like to adjust to anyone’s needs. Moreover, everybody should always consider him as very important, smart, and intelligent. A narcissistic person always believes himself to be a great leader and a great human being. It is not necessary that he becomes a good leader, but because of his bullying tactics, confident demeanor, and glib talk, he might land such leadership positions.
Sign 2: You always believe that you're right.
A narcissist would never admit any of his mistakes because he strongly believes that he can never do anything wrong. He has a strong feeling that other people lack sense and intelligence and he is perfect in every aspect. He always put the blame on others and do not believe in apologizing for any of his mistakes. Apologizing for him is for meek people. Even if it was obvious that it was his fault, he will tell others the tale of him being a victim.
He is categorized by rude behavior and has a sense of competitiveness as he feels they are the best. He always wants to be a part of the winning streak. He might even think that he is born to win. If anybody else wins, he cannot bear the fact that someone else is the winner. He divides the world into two categories: winners and losers. And no matter what, he would always want to be in the winner’s category.
Grievances and insults are always in his mind and would take revenge from the person he loses to at the first chance. He cares highly for himself and would make a mountain out of a molehill if his reputation or prestige is tainted. He will always remember these small things and avenge himself.
He cannot accept any other person’s progress, growth, success, and fame, and he always tries to bring that person down and destroy his reputation. He always believes that the other person is always wrong and his views do not matter at all. The other person’s perceived wrong views make him angry. He loses his temper and feels that people should apologize for their different views and wrong ideas. He likes to have monologues and less of a dialogue as he usually believes that conversations are always about him.
Sign 3: You want to get a VIP treatment from everybody and societal rules do not apply to you.
A narcissist scorns other people’s talents and abilities and has a superficial view of one’s self. He believes that people should treat him in the best possible way as he believes to be greater than others. He has a belief that standing in long lines, waiting for taxis, and appearing to job interviews, are not for him as they are for the ordinary people.
Whenever a narcissistic person enters places, events, and other social or important gatherings, he feels that everyone should look at him, recognize him, and respect him. In certain cases of narcissism, the person wants that everyone should give him a standing ovation. He does not want to be just another anonymous person. It must always be about him and not about anybody else. He does not like indifference when he speaks to other people and will get very much irritated. Words like “me”, “I” means a lot to him. His world is self-centered and it exists for his desires,
Words like "me" and "I" mean a lot to him. His world is self-centered and it exists for his desires, ambitions, and enjoyments. A narcissist believes that he has a superior sense of knowledge, and whenever he gets a chance, he would give unsolicited pieces of advice. He might even want people to strictly follow his advice, as he has this belief that he knows everything in this world.
Narcissists are one-sided or unilateral listeners, and whenever there are discussions of any aspect, he feels that his opinion is always right and other people's opinions are of no importance. He would probably give a deaf ear if a lecture or another person’s advice is given to him. A narcissist will reject outright opinions of others or will minimize the opinions of others. While rejecting or minimizing others' opinions, his tone is always insulting, humiliating, and full of self-conceit. He is good at influencing others, and if any person challenges him, he might even try to destroy him. He thinks that other people envy him, but in reality, he envies others for their accomplishments. He believes that rules framed by society and government are not for him. He believes that he has a towering personality, and hence, entitled not to follow any rules because of his superior status and personality.
Sign 4: You set high aspirations for yourself.
A narcissist is under the impression that a great future has been planned for him. He fantasizes about a prosperous life ahead and has high unachievable goals set for himself. He has a strong conviction that his present condition is only a test, and after this phase, everything will be perfect. He is an excuse-maker and whenever things do not fall in place, he makes excuses and finds faults with others.
He believes very much in himself and his capacity. He wants to live a life of high status and value, and aspire for the same. He has extreme overconfidence in himself and on his failures. Although he gets angry, he does not show it to others. He falls for flattery easily and does not welcome criticism. Criticism in any form can hurt him very badly.
A neutral assessment of any situation or condition is adversely taken as a personal criticism and he does not like it. He tends to believe that he deserves to be a part of prestigious groups. The "shy narcissists" wait for their right time to show their real capabilities. He demands leadership, power, money, and fame, and he thinks he is entitled and destined for it.
In many cases, narcissistic people are generous in nature, but being selfish and self-centered gives them great pleasure and happiness. He gives large amounts of money to strangers, and makes him feel happy because his ego is being pampered. Strangers are a large recipient of his generosity because he feels that strangers are good people. On the other hand, people close to him are lowly people and do not deserve such generosity. In cases where this generosity is against his self-interests, his selfish nature takes over, and he will not be large-hearted and generous.
Sign 5: You're caught up in bad relationships.
As a narcissist, he has a belief that he is superior to others. Thus, his relationships do not last long. He may be unfaithful and try to cheat and lie. His insecurity leads to his failure in managing his relationship with others. It may appear that a narcissist looks to be self-confident and of high self-esteem, but in reality, he may be going through a very tough phase of controlling his real emotions.
Historians have speculated that Adolf Hitler suffered from acute narcissism and had grand visions of himself leading his country to greatness. His narcissism led Germany in World War II, which killed millions of Jews. Ultimately, he ended his life because he could not control the situation anymore. History is full of examples with narcissistic personalities such as Alexander the Great and Genghis Khan, who embarked on misadventures because of their narcissism. Their actions ultimately ended in great tragedies for mankind.
Narcissists do not listen to anybody else except to themselves. They do not have a two-way communication, which leads to a lot of failed relationship and poor social links.